Vulnerable in Dating

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Nancy Slotnick, author of Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less: I think that’s great. I really appreciate you sharing your insights with us, Nancy. They’ve been really interesting.

I’m wondering if you have any last thought or take-home message that you’d like to leave our listeners with, whether it’s from your coaching practice or your insightful book.

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Nancy Slotnick

Everyone Feels Vulnerable in Dating

You mentioned the word “vulnerable.” I think that everything boils down to that.

Everyone feels vulnerable when it comes to dating. Everyone is afraid of rejection. They’re afraid to put themselves on the line.

If you get caught up in that and tell yourself to back off and make the other person do more of the work because you’re afraid to show them you like them first, you really will never get anywhere.

Vulnerable in Dating: Put Yourself Out There

Push yourself every day to do something that you wouldn’t normally do, like smile at a stranger, talk to someone in the elevator or ask a question of someone who you normally wouldn’t talk to.

Vulnerable in Dating: Increase Interaction

Lower your boundaries for interacting with people.

Friend someone on Facebook that you don’t really know very well.

Go to a party where you don’t know very many people and you’re a little nervous to go.

Go out alone and sit at the bar, talk to the bartender and try to make new friends.

If you’re a woman and you don’t know that many guys, make a new female friend that could be a partner in crime.

Expand your network. Anything that makes you feel a little vulnerable like that, do it. Instead of shying away from it, just do it.

I’m shy by nature. I’ve always pushed myself that way. It always pays off afterwards.

You get that knot in your stomach at the time when you’re doing it. I feel that, if it’s not scary, it’s not worth doing.

Jasbina Ahluwalia