Searching for Life Partner: 7 Principles

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7 Principles of Creative Management: Searching for Life Partner

In your book, you apply seven principles of creative time management to the search for a life partner. I’ll read the seven principles aloud for our listeners. Maybe after each one, I can have you explain how each of these principles may apply specifically to the search for a life partner.

1. Be active
2. Set goals
3. Prioritize actions
4. Focus
5. Create realistic deadlines
6. Do it now
7. Balance your life

1. Searching for Life Partner: Be Active

Your number one principle is to be active, not just reactive. Tell us about that.

Dr. Jan Yager

It’s so pivotal. That goes to a couple of the examples that we mentioned. It’s not just females. It’s also men.

You need to be searching for Mr. or Ms. Right, not just saying, “If he or she comes along, I’m sure I’ll know it.”

It’s too important. It’s too pivotal. You don’t want to wake up, it’s 10 or 20 years later and you’re alone. Not only are you alone but you’ve missed having a family.

You need to have a plan. You have to go after this part of your life like you would anything else that matters.

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Jasbina Ahluwalia

2. Searching for Life Partner: Set Goals

Absolutely. I always say that it’s the most important decision in most people’s lives. Leaving it to pure chance is not the wisest way to go.

The second principle is to set goals. Tell us about that in terms of applying that to the search for a life partner.

Dr. Jan Yager

There are some older singles who already have children.

Their goal is to find someone to share their life with. They don’t want to get married again. They don’t want to have more children. That’s okay. That will be their goal.

If someone wants to find someone that they want to have children with and marry then that is their goal.

2. Searching for Life Partner: Set Goals Example

I know an older woman who married in her early fifties. She married a man who had a young son with whom she shares the parenting because the mother is still in the picture.

The husband was divorced and now remarried.

Through her goal of getting married but also having a family, because she was in her fifties, she was able to at least have a step-son. It was important for her to know that.

When she was looking and met him through one of the personal online dating services, she knew that someone with a young child was very appealing to her.

That helped her to achieve her goal.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

3. Searching for Life Partner: Prioritize Actions

That’s interesting. The third principle that you can apply to the search for a life partner is to prioritize actions.

Dr. Jan Yager

Yes. Make finding a mate or a date your number one goal.

The New Year is coming up and the holidays. Number one on your calendar or daily planner should be to find Mr. Right or Ms. Right, not dieting or giving up smoking.

Those are important, too. Make those numbers two and three.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

4. Searching for Life Partner: Focus

The fourth one is to keep your focus.

Dr. Jan Yager

That’s right. That’s going to be hard.

When the boss says to you, “I want you to go on five business trips,” that’s okay but you’d better be keeping that goal of finding and dating people as your primary goal. Otherwise, another year is going to go by and you’re still going to be by yourself.

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Jasbina Ahluwalia

5. Searching for Life Partner: Create Realistic Deadlines

Your fifth one is to create realistic deadlines.

Dr. Jan Yager

Yes. It wasn’t that I planned to get married in 23 days. In our case, it just worked out that way.

When I met Fred, that was the second or third ad that I placed. Although we got married in 23 days, I started proactively trying to find a mate the summer before.

It was about five months of active dating. I did have very realistic deadlines and plans with that. It just so happened that it worked out. Fred and I shared a similar timetable that worked for us at that point in our lives.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

What you said before in terms of identifying what was important to you, you had done that work. I would argue that’s what made 23 days even possible.

Dr. Jan Yager

That’s right. Also, at the time, I was a college professor.

I taught Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. It was much easier for me to date Tuesdays, Thursdays and over the weekends. That’s another thing to consider. What kind of job do you have? I’m also a relationship coach.

I was working with a woman who had everything in her life but relationships.

• She owned a condo.
• She had a great job.
• She had a master’s degree.

When I worked with her, I coached her. I said to her, “What do you do on the weekends?” She said, “I do my chores,” because she’s so busy with her job during the week.

I said, “Who are you going to meet doing your chores?” She had to carve out a couple of hours each day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. She was going to search, date or go places where she could find someone.

She did get things moving along.

That’s part of the realistic deadline. She needed to start that process. She had gotten into such a rut of her life being almost all work that it wasn’t going to be an overnight change.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

6. Searching for Life Partner: Do it Now

The sixth one is to do it now. The seventh one is to balance your life. Tell us about both of those.

Dr. Jan Yager

7. Searching for Life Partner: Balance Your Life

Balance your life. You don’t want to lose your job because you’re searching for a mate or a date.

You also don’t want your life to be all work so that you don’t allow yourself to have people in your life. It’s really that balance.

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Tell Us:

Do you have any pearls of wisdom while searching for life partner? What struggles did you encounter while searching for life partner? Share with us in the comments section below.

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The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Jan Yager.

The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Jan Yager Interview – 125 Ways to Meet the Love of Your Life

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: 125 Wats to Meet the Love of Your Life – Dr. Jan Yager

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes

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