Dr. John Cacioppo Interview – Insights From A Social Psychologist on Growth of Online Dating
“Insights from a Social Psychologist on the Growth of Online Dating”
Jasbina Ahluwalia interviews Dr. John Cacioppo
A few topics Dr. John Cacioppo addresses in this interview are:
- (2:34) Most Marriages Start Online
- (3:42) Find Love Online in Your 30s
- (5:43) Educated Online Dating Pool
- (7:50) Online Matches Have Successful Marriages
- (11:35) Benefits of Online Dating
- (15:23) Honesty in Online Dating
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Dr. John Cacioppo is the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor of Psychology, Director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience and Past-Director of the Arete Initiative of the Office of the Vice President for Research and National Laboratories at The University of Chicago.
He is a pioneer in the field of social neuroscience and an expert in social isolation, emotional contagion and social behavior. Dr. Cacioppo completed his PhD at Ohio State University and served on the faculty at the University of Notre Dame (1977-1979), University of Iowa (1979-1989), Ohio State University (1989-1999), and University of Chicago (1999-present).
He also served as the Bijzonder Hoogleraar Sociale Neurowetenschappen (External Professor Chair in Social Neurosciences) Free University Amsterdam (2003-2007), and a Guest Professor at State Key Laboratory of Cognitive Neuroscience and Learning, Beijing Normal University (2008-2010).
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(00:48): Hello everyone and welcome to Intersections Match’s Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show focused on the continual evolution into the best versions of our authentic selves. We and our guests discuss relationships and health and wellness, each of which contributes to meaningful and fulfilling lives.
This is Jasbina, your host. I’m a former practicing lawyer and the Founder of Intersections Match, the only elite national personalized matchmaking company focused on singles of South Asian descent nationwide in the US. As a professional dating coach and matchmaker, I’m always interested in fresh perspectives from authors, researchers and experts to help me provide unparalleled service to our clients.
I’m very excited to welcome Dr. John Cacioppo to our show today. Dr. Cacioppo is the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor and Director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago. On today’s show, we will be discussing Dr. Cacioppo’s research based on a survey of more than 19,000 individuals who married between 2005 and 2012. Welcome to the show, Dr. Cacioppo.
Dr. John Cacioppo
(1:48): Thank you.
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(1:52): I’m really interested to learn what led you to conduct this fascinating research in the first place.
Dr. John Cacioppo
(1:59): It was a rare opportunity to look at a question that probably crosses a lot of people’s minds.
That is, how are our marital lives being changed by the internet?
The internet has changed how we work, how we shop and how we travel. It’s also changing how we interact with others, such as how we’re meeting our spouses.
It was an opportunity to try to determine whether the changes were for the better or worse, whether there was a warning or we were doing something right.
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Most Marriages Start Online
(2:34): Your results revealed that a large proportion of marriages in this country now begin online. What did you find?
Dr. John Cacioppo
(2:46): We were really surprised. About 35% of the marriages between 2005 and 2012 began online. That’s a dramatic increase in the number of such marriages.
Elaborating on Most Marriages Start Online.
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Find Love Online in Your 30s
(3:42): That is fascinating. Over a third of marriages between that span of 2005 and 2012 began online.
You mentioned age. I want to highlight that. Is there any difference with respect to people in different age groups?
You mentioned the demographic with a very dominant presence is the 30 to 39 year-olds. It sounds like there is a difference in prevalence with respect to a particular age group.
Why do you think that it’s even more frequent within that age group? I know you mentioned busy lives, but tell us more.
Dr. John Cacioppo
(4:31): I think there are two different things going on.
Those over 40 are more likely to meet their spouse offline than online.
That probably reflects their still somewhat discomfort with the internet as a means of interacting with others.
The group under 30 are also more likely to meet their spouse offline than online, but that’s probably because they’re meeting them at school or sources of leisure.
Elaborating on Find Love Online in Your 30s.
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Educated Online Dating Pool
(5:43): That makes sense. In terms of the demographic differences, you mentioned education.
Tell us about the differences you found with respect to education and income as well as why you think that’s the case.
Dr. John Cacioppo
(6:02): We found those who were making $75,000 and above were more likely to meet their spouse online than offline.
Those making $50,000 to $75,000 were about equal.
Those making less than that were more likely to meet their spouse offline.
Elaborating on Educated Online Dating Pool.
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Online Matches Have Successful Marriages
(7:50): What about after the people meet online and they marry?
Were there any statistically significant differences that you found post-marriage with respect to spouses who did meet online initially versus offline?
Dr. John Cacioppo
(8:10): There is something that I want to clarify.
Just because I might meet someone online doesn’t mean that I end up marrying them.
Many of those meetings lead to dates and then nothing. It’s the same with offline dating, of course.
We’re looking at a subset of those who met online. These are the individuals who met someone and then subsequently married.
We find that those marriages are less likely during the course of our study to have ended up in separation or divorce.
Elaborating on Online Matched Have Successful Marriages.
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(9:33): It’s at least a little better in terms of satisfaction and longevity. There are a plethora of online sites.
Have you found the different online sites to be similar in terms of the marital outcomes that you just mentioned?
Dr. John Cacioppo
(10:05): When you look at online, 45% of those marriages started at online dating sites.
People are meeting at a variety of online venues. The plurality are meeting at online dating sites.
The literature in the past has treated online venues as if they’re the same. It’s been termed “computer mediated communication.”
It’s a computer mediated communication whether I meet someone through a chat room, virtual world or an online dating site. That’s all computer mediated communication.
We had anticipated there to be dramatic differences in those different venues.
Indeed, we did find the online domains no longer to be homogeneous. They shouldn’t be treated as homogeneous.
Within online, we found differences as well. That’s not too surprising. It has a lot to do with authenticity and what one is seeking in those places other than just being online versus offline.
By the way, we find the same thing offline. Meeting someone through being raised together, places of worship or through friends has different effects than meeting someone at a bar or club.
Again, that’s not too surprising.
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Benefits of Online Dating
(11:35): You’ve come up with three different compelling hypotheses for the research findings. I’m hoping that you will share them with our listeners.
Dr. John Cacioppo
(11:56): I’ll go through more than three.
The most obvious one is selection bias.
The people who were more educated and wealthier are more likely to meet online. That sets a strong foundation for a happier, longer marriage as well.
Elaborating on Benefits of Online Dating.
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Honesty in Online Dating
(15:23): That is fascinating and, in some ways, counterintuitive for some people who might think that people hide behind their computer. You’re saying that the level of self-disclosure is higher.
Dr. John Cacioppo
(15:42): You raise a very good point. That’s why I wanted to make the point that these are individuals who ended up married.
If you’re anonymous to the other individual, you may well get more misrepresentation and less authenticity.
You may present yourself as taller, more fit, wealthier or any number of things. That’s likely to be detected once the relationship moves to more face-to-face interaction.
With that detection, it’s less likely to end in marriage.
Elaborating on Honesty in Online Dating.
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(17:32): That makes sense. We need to remember that these are the people who are married. It is a subset.
I appreciate you sharing your insights with us, Dr. Cacioppo. Is there any last thought or take-home message that you’d like to leave our listeners with?
Dr. John Cacioppo
(17:52): I was surprised by the nature of these results. I think the way to view the internet is not as something changing our world but rather as a tool that, if we use effectively, can improve our lives. It is a tool.
Being authentic is a scary event. The rejection of an authentic presentation can be hurtful.
If that computer allows us to be authentic and suffer that rejection with less pain, then we’re more likely to find someone else who actually loves us for who we authentically are.
We can love them for who they authentically are, and thereby improve our lives, marriages, families, communities and society.
(18:46): I love that in terms of authenticity.
If the relationship goal is marriage, you need to be authentic or it’s not going to end well.
Thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Cacioppo, and sharing your insights with us. It’s been a pleasure.
Dr. John Cacioppo
(19:06): It’s my pleasure. Thank you very much.
(19:09): In case you joined us late or would like to share this show with people in your life, I’d like to remind you that today’s radio show will be archived and available as a podcast on Intersections Match’s website, which is www.IntersectionsMatch.com. I can be reached at jasbina@intersectionsmatch.com. I appreciate you hanging out with us. Do email me with topics you’d like discussed in future shows. Make sure to join us for next month’s show. Take care, everyone.
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Tell Us:
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