Excessive Worrying About Loved Ones Can Wreck Relationships – Not Help – What Do We Do?
Story 1
Mandar’s phone rang for the third time in an hour. He rolled his eyes at it knowing it was his mother, calling to see if he was safe because of the severe thunderstorm going on outside.
—> [VIDEO] Help! My Emotional Walls Are Keeping Me From Finding Love She was always like this from the time he was a young child. She was always worried about his safety, sometimes excessively so he thought. No TIME to Find Someone? We can HELP! He picked up the phone only because he knew that if he didn’t, she would start calling his friends worried about why he didn’t answer her call. “I’m fine, Mom,” he said obviously frustrated. “Are you sure? I’m watching the news and it sounds really terrible over there. Stay inside ok?” she said, each word dripping with worry. “No, Mom, I’m going to go outside, stand on the roof of a tall building and hold a key up to the sky,” he replied with resentment and sarcasm. His friends always told him he was being too hard on his mom, that all mothers worried about their children, but he knew his mother was beyond what was “normal” for parents. Right before going to college, his mother was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and his suspicions were confirmed. And thus her symptoms were just as disruptive as ever. It made him embarrassed to be around her, resentful that he had to take care of her like a young child and frustrated that his mother would not take care of herself so that they could have a better relationship. It was part of the reason he went to school so far away from his hometown. _____ Story 2 In an entirely different city, Sayali was getting making dinner for her new husband. She was chopping up the vegetables when she cut her finger. She breathed in sharply as a result of the pain but tried to be quiet so her husband would not hear. Unfortunately, he did and rushed to the kitchen. No TIME to Find Someone? We can HELP! [More from Jasbina] —> [INTERVIEW] Jason Beeharilal NetIP Interview – 3 Ways to Stress Less & Live More “Sayali!” he said loudly, “Are you ok?” “I’m fine,” she said trying to get past him to get a bandaid. “It’s bleeding!” he said, his eyes large with worry. “I always tell you to let me chop the vegetables. You’re so clumsy that you always do something like this. Why won’t you listen?” he said, frustrated with his wife. Sayali took a deep breath and stopped trying to push past him. She knew that anytime she hurt herself or got sick, he had to go through this process of criticizing her and blaming her for making the mistakes that caused her pain. He wasn’t trying to be abusive. It was his way of expressing worry. Her mother in law had warned her about his. From a young age, he always worried about everything. Mostly, he worried about the health of his family, but as he got older, his worries included keeping a job and being financially stable. “I know everyone worries,” her mother-in-law told Sayali, “but everything makes him so nervous. It seems so much worse than most people.” She never realized the first year and a half of marriage could be so difficult. _____ South Asians tend to express love and caring by worrying. However, excessive worrying, especially that which is seen in Generalized Anxiety Disorder, can wreak havoc on relationships. Whether they be: Excessive worry that is expressed in any manner can destroy an otherwise healthy, happy relationship. Neither of them are satisfied in their respective relationships and over time the connection erodes. If you find yourself worrying excessively, take some time to talk to your loved ones about how it affects them. While you may be completely convinced that your worry is justified, sometimes a choice between holding on to your worry or repairing a relationship must be made. Excessive worry comes from unhealthy coping of anxiety. Try to engage in relaxing activities during the day, change your thoughts about a situation that is causing you worry Or talk to your health care provider about suggestions on how to better manage your worries. By doing so, you could be saving your closest relationships. No TIME to Find Someone? We can HELP! _____ [More from Jasbina] —> [BLOG] 7 Tips to Achieve Your New Years Resolutions —> [VIDEO] I Know Right Away If I Want A Second Date. Is That Fair? —> [INTERVIEW] Deepa Iyer NetIP Interview – Leading & Working at Non-Profits —> [BLOG] I need space – What A Guy Really Means Article Contributor: MySahana, meaning my “patience” or “fortitude” in Sanskrit, is a nonprofit organization dedicated to spreading awareness about mental health issues as they pertain to the South Asian community. By providing culturally-sensitive and relevant information, they aim to correct misinformation, remove stigma and begin a dialogue about mental health and healthy living. They believe it is from these dialogues that South Asians will feel more comfortable seeking services and making the necessary changes to live a healthier life. For more information, please visit their website at http://www.mysahana.org, follow them@MySahana on Twitter and connect with them on Facebook. _____
_____
