Dating Wisely: 5 Tips
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Lisa Bobby, a Board Certified Life Coach: Thank you. I appreciate you sharing all of your insights with us. I’m wondering if there is any last thought or take-home message you’d like to leave our listeners with.
_____
Dr. Lisa Bobby
Dating Wisely: Slowly and Open Minded
If you’re dating:
- Go slow and be thoughtful about it.
- Keep an open mind.
- Make sure that your values are aligned.
Dating Wisely: Same Values
It’s a lot easier to make changes earlier in a relationship than it is when you’re 10 years, a couple kids and a mortgage into a marriage. That is not the time to find out that you’re not fundamentally compatible.
Be wise as you’re going about dating.
Dating Wisely: Pre-Marital Classes
If you are bumping up against marriage, please get into a good pre-marital class or some good pre-marital counseling so that you have the opportunity to make those commitments together.
Get in alignment around how your marriage is going to be before you get married. It will save you so much time, energy and heartache trying to hash it out with each other.
It doesn’t have to be that hard. Take a class. Get into pre-marital counseling.
Dating Wisely: Notice Behavioral Cycles
Lastly, be very aware of that pursue/withdraw cycle.
Notice if your partner is pulling away. What does that make you feel like doing?
Then think about what you could do instead in order to help your partner feel safe with you again.
Likewise, if you’re starting to feel attacked or badgered by your partner, take a look at how they might be hurting and respond to that instead of the anger.
If you see a pattern happening in your relationship and you’re not able to repair it easily using listening skills or safety skills, it’s much better to get into marriage counseling sooner rather than later.
Dating Wisely: Prepare Early
The longer these things go on, the more toxic they tend to become. They can really damage a relationship over time.
A lot of couples make the mistake of waiting too long or waiting until things are really bad to get into marriage counseling.
It will be much easier to repair your relationship if you go while you still feel good about each other than if you wait several years later when you’re both so angry and hurt.
At some point, the best marriage counselor in the world can’t put it back together again. Those are my final words of advice.
_____
Tell Us:
Do you think these tips will help you date wisely? Do you have additional tips from experience? Chat with us in the comments section below.
_____
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Lisa Bobby
The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Lisa Bobby Interview – Relationship Patterns (and How to Overcome Them)
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: NetIP Spotlight- Live Your Potential: Relationship Patterns (and How to Overcome Them) – Dr. Lisa Bobby
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes
_____
