Go Away Guy Red Flags
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Catherine Cardinal, author of, Men to Run From: So You Can Find the Right One to Run to: You qualified at the beginning that this is one of the prototypes where the things to do are limited. What are some questions to ask yourself or things to do if you do find yourself in a relationship with a guy like this?
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Dr. Catherine Cardinal
In defense of men, sometimes if a guy stops calling, it might not be that he’s a C’mere Go Away Guy. He might have reunited with his ex or got a job somewhere else.
You want the guy to have enough courtesy to call and tell you.
C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags Before It’s Too Late
The questions that I have here are more geared to catching that this might be a C’mere Go Away Guy before you find out.
If he is a C’mere Go Away Guy, by the time you realize who he is, it’s because he’s gone. Then there’s really nothing else that you can do about it.
C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags: Consistency
If a guy seems too good to be true, he’s charming, wonderful, affectionate and complimentary, that’s great. You may have met the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.
Are you taking it slow? Is he being consistent with his affection and courtesy?
C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags: Notice Patterns
Oftentimes, the C’mere Go Away Guy will disappear for a while. He’ll say, “I’ll call you Tuesday.” Tuesday comes and goes. He disappears for two or three weeks.
He calls back and he’s apologetic. Sometimes they repeat this pattern a number of times. You are looking for someone who is consistent over a long period of time and doesn’t come back with all these excuses of where he went.
Is your guy being consistent in his good behavior?
C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags: Committed for Long-Run
Then I ask, do you know that it takes at least nine to twelve months to really know who someone is? At the very least, it takes six months.
Don’t get too bowled over by his charm. Do you know anything about his history? Has he had any successful long-term relationships? Does he withdraw when you show your feelings?
If you start reciprocating, does he get a little cool and aloof? That’s a red flag for a C’mere Go Away Guy.
He may become uncomfortable when you reciprocate your feelings. When you have a heart-to-heart with him, does that push him away or make him uncomfortable?
Dr. Catherine Cardinal
Exactly. I have a story about a client that I worked with a while ago. She had a C’mere Go Away Guy.
This woman had a sense of self-esteem that needed some work. I didn’t meet her until she had already been doing this for a long time.
Do you ever find yourself, when he comes back and apologizes, you go against your inner self to take him back?
Then, if he starts to disappear again, you start begging him not to go again.
C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags: Addiction
That’s a red flag. That means that you’re addicted to him. That’s something to look at.
If it seems too good to be true then take your time to find out if it is true. They can be very charming and disarming all at the same time.
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Tell Us:
Do these C’mere Go Away Guy red flags appear in any of your current relationships? Discuss them with us below in the comments section.
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The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Catherine Cardinal
The entire interview transcript is at: Catherine Cardinal Interview – Men To Run From To Find One To Run To
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Men to Run From: So you can find the one to run to
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes
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