Go Away Guy Red Flags

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Catherine Cardinal, author of, Men to Run From: So You Can Find the Right One to Run to: You qualified at the beginning that this is one of the prototypes where the things to do are limited. What are some questions to ask yourself or things to do if you do find yourself in a relationship with a guy like this?

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Dr. Catherine Cardinal

In defense of men, sometimes if a guy stops calling, it might not be that he’s a C’mere Go Away Guy. He might have reunited with his ex or got a job somewhere else.

You want the guy to have enough courtesy to call and tell you.

C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags Before It’s Too Late

The questions that I have here are more geared to catching that this might be a C’mere Go Away Guy before you find out.

If he is a C’mere Go Away Guy, by the time you realize who he is, it’s because he’s gone. Then there’s really nothing else that you can do about it.

C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags: Consistency

If a guy seems too good to be true, he’s charming, wonderful, affectionate and complimentary, that’s great. You may have met the man you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

Are you taking it slow? Is he being consistent with his affection and courtesy?

C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags: Notice Patterns

Oftentimes, the C’mere Go Away Guy will disappear for a while. He’ll say, “I’ll call you Tuesday.” Tuesday comes and goes. He disappears for two or three weeks.

He calls back and he’s apologetic. Sometimes they repeat this pattern a number of times. You are looking for someone who is consistent over a long period of time and doesn’t come back with all these excuses of where he went.

Is your guy being consistent in his good behavior?

C’mere Go Away Guy Red Flags: Committed for Long-Run

Then I ask, do you know that it takes at least nine to twelve months to really know who someone is? At the very least, it takes six months.

Don’t get too bowled over by his charm. Do you know anything about his history? Has he had any successful long-term relationships? Does he withdraw when you show your feelings?

If you start reciprocating, does he get a little cool and aloof? That’s a red flag for a C’mere Go Away Guy.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

He may become uncomfortable when you reciprocate your feelings. When you have a heart-to-heart with him, does that push him away or make him uncomfortable?

Dr. Catherine Cardinal

Exactly. I have a story about a client that I worked with a while ago. She had a C’mere Go Away Guy.

This woman had a sense of self-esteem that needed some work. I didn’t meet her until she had already been doing this for a long time.

Do you ever find yourself, when he comes back and apologizes, you go against your inner self to take him back?

Then, if he starts to disappear again, you start begging him not to go again.