Nancy Slotnick Interview – Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less
“Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less”
Jasbina Ahluwalia interviews Nancy Slotnick
A few topics Nancy Slotnick addresses in this interview are:
- (3:12) Available Ladies: Drop Hints
- (4:36) Actively Find a Partner
- (6:12) Dating A Part-Time Job?
- (8:17) Dating Communication Rules
- (10:19) Lower Online Dating Expectations
- (13:37) Don’t Be a Needy Girlfriend!
- (15:18) Controlling of Communication
- (16:56) Judgmental Dating Habits
- (21:47) Vulnerable in Dating
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Nancy Slotnick has a master’s degree in Psychological Anthropology from Harvard and is a professional dating coach. She is the author of the book, Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less.
Nancy has been featured on a number of television programs, including Oprah, The Today Show, 48 Hours, CNN, CBS National News, Good Morning America, MTV, VH1 and The View as well as internationally in the UK, Germany, China, Brazil and Japan.
Nancy has also been featured in print media, including The New York Times, Entertainment Weekly, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Time, Psychology Today, New York Magazine, The Chicago Tribune and Playboy as well as internationally in magazines and newspapers throughout the world.
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(00:47): Hello everyone and welcome to Intersections Match’s Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show focused on the continual evolution into the best versions of our authentic selves. We and our guests discuss relationships and health and wellness, each of which contributes to meaningful and fulfilling lives.
This is Jasbina, your host. I’m a former practicing lawyer and the Founder of Intersections Match, the only elite national personalized matchmaking company focused on singles of South Asian descent nationwide in the US.
I’m very excited to welcome Nancy Slotnick to our show tonight. Nancy has a master’s degree in Psychological Anthropology from Harvard and is a professional dating coach. Nancy has been featured on a number of television programs, including Oprah, The Today Show, 48 Hours, CNN, CBS National News, Good Morning America, MTV, VH1 and The View as well as internationally in the UK, Germany, China, Brazil and Japan.
Nancy has also been featured in print media, including The New York Times, Entertainment Weekly, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Time, Psychology Today, New York Magazine, The Chicago Tribune and Playboy as well as internationally in magazines and newspapers throughout the world.
Tonight, we’ll be discussing Nancy’s book Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less. Welcome, Nancy.
Nancy Slotnick
(2:16): Hi, thank you.
(2:18): It’s great to have you. As a professional dating coach and matchmaker, I’m fascinated by insights and perspectives regarding relationships.
I’ve really enjoyed reading your book and would love to explore some of the insights shared in your book. Nancy, what prompted you to write this book in the first place?
Nancy Slotnick
(2:37): I found that there are so many people who struggle with their love life and finding happiness, even if they’re very successful in every other area of life, such as career and education. These are really smart people with lots of friends. They do lots of interesting activities. When it comes to love, it’s very hard to make it work and make it go the way you want it to. I help people get through that.
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Available Ladies: Drop Hints
(3:12): Given the title of your book, which is Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less, tell our listeners what you mean by, “Turn your cablight on.”
Nancy Slotnick
(3:21): In New York City, the taxi cabs have their light turned on at the top if they’re available. When you get in the cab and the meter starts, the light goes off.
I believe that dating kind of works that way. Women especially have to show that they’re available so that men can flag them down.
Elaborting on Available Ladies: Drop Hints.
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Actively Find a Partner
(4:36): I found a statement you made in your book particularly compelling. I’d love to share it with our listeners and then have you expand.
You state in your book, “Let me guess. You’ve been told countless times that ‘It always happens when you’re not looking.’ You hear stories about how, as soon as so-and-so threw in the dating towel and was resigned to the fact that she might be single forever, then bam! The perfect guy appeared. Stories like these are misleading.” Tell us about that, Nancy.
Nancy Slotnick
(5:11): People always say, “It happens when you least expect it.”
The thing is, I was always expecting it when I was single. It still did happen for me. I understand what it meant by that.
Elaborating on Actively Find a Partner.
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Dating A Part-Time Job?
(6:12): You spoke of taking action and putting in the work. In your book, you advise readers to devote 15 hours a week to their search. Tell us about that and how you got to that number.
Nancy Slotnick
(6:26): It’s almost like a part-time job in a way. When you have a job, you have to put time into doing it well.
Elaborating on Dating A Part-Time Job?
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Dating Communication Rules
(8:17): In your book, you explain another great analogy of a tennis game with respect to not being the one to call a guy until he has called first. Tell us about that.
Nancy Slotnick
(8:33): There is kind of a volley in communication. This goes on in business as well as in personal communication. It goes on with friends.
You leave a message for someone. Then you wait for them to call you back.
Elaborating on Dating Communication Rules.
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Lower Online Dating Expectations
(10:19): In your book, you mention what you call the “one in ten rule.” Tell our listeners about that.
Nancy Slotnick
(10:32): Let’s say that you’re doing online dating. You email ten different people. Probably only one of them is going to turn into a date.
The reason why it’s important to know that is because, if you only email a couple of people and you don’t hear back from anyone, you don’t want to get really discouraged.
Elaborating on Lower Online Dating Expectations.
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Needy Girlfriend: Don’t Be One!
(13:37): In your book, you advise readers that just about every annoying habit that women have when it comes to men can be broken down into three categories called the three evils. I’d like to identify each of the three categories and then have you explain each one.
The first category is needy. Tell us about that one.
Nancy Slotnick
(14:06): This one probably needs no explanation. Men really don’t like women who are needy on dates or in general.
Elaborating on Needy Girlfriend: Don’t Be One!
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Controlling of Communication
(15:18): The second category is controlling. Do you have any examples?
Nancy Slotnick
(15:37): I like using the examples of communication around dating because that’s where a lot of your personality is translated to the other person. You may not even realize it.
Elaborating on Controlling of Communication.
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Judgmental Dating Habits
(16:56): Exactly. This is why your examples are really helpful. I’m sure that very few people walk around saying, “Yes, I think I’m controlling.” Then you can see how there might be misperception along those lines based on some actions or behaviors.
The third category is judgmental. Again, I don’t think that a lot of people walk around thinking they’re judgmental. Give us examples where one might listen and think, “I may have done that. I need to rethink that.”
Nancy Slotnick
(17:33): An example would be if he was telling a story about his job.
You didn’t think that he was successful enough. It could be about politics.
Elaborating on Judgmental Dating Habits.
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Vulnerable in Dating
(21:47): I think that’s great. I really appreciate you sharing your insights with us, Nancy. They’ve been really interesting.
I’m wondering if you have any last thought or take-home message that you’d like to leave our listeners with, whether it’s from your coaching practice or your insightful book.
Nancy Slotnick
(22:10): You mentioned the word “vulnerable.” I think that everything boils down to that.
Elaborating on Vulnerable in Dating.
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(23:53): I’d like to thank Nancy for joining us today. It’s been an absolute pleasure.
Nancy Slotnick
(23:58): Thank you so much for having me.
(24:00): If you’d like to learn more about the insights that Nancy’s been sharing with us today, her book is entitled, Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less.
In case you joined us late or would like to share this show with people in your life, I’d like to remind you that today’s radio show will be archived and available as a podcast on Intersections Match’s website, which is www.IntersectionsMatch.com. I can be reached at jasbina@intersectionsmatch.com.
Nancy, do you have a website that you’d like to share with our listeners?
Nancy Slotnick
(24:28): Yes, I do. It’s CabLight.com.
(24:35): I appreciate you hanging out with us. Do email me with topics you’d like discussed in future shows. Make sure to join us for next month’s show. Take care, everyone.
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Tell Us:
What advice from Nancy Slotnick has left a last impression on you and your perception of finding the one? Share with us below in the comments section.
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