[VIDEO] 7 Tips To Nail Your First Date
Trying to shake off our nerves that just won’t seem to go away as we get ready for a first date is pretty hard (not to mention SUPER frustrating).
From figuring out what to wear to where we should meet up, jumping right into the dating field sometimes feels way more complicated than it should be.
It doesn’t matter if we’re testing out the waters for the first time or are total pros at the game, we could all use some tips on how to have the perfect date (that’ll hopefully lead to more).
That explains why we were totally ecstatic to hear YourTango Experts – Matchmakers Paul C. Brunson, Peggy Wolman, Jasbina Ahluwalia, Michelle Jacoby, and Marla Martenson talk about ways we can increase our chances of finding a great match and scoring that second date. Despite popular belief, it really isn’t as hard as it may seem. These are just a few highlights that scratch the surface.
1. Do Something Different.
Not only can trying something new together be really fun, it’s a great way to open up a conversation. After all, how many people can say that they’ve done something other than dinner and a movie on the first date?
2. Figure Out What He Or She Is Passionate About.
We guarantee that finding out what your date is really passionate about will help you decide whether or not he/she is the perfect match; after all, there’s nothing sexier than a person who knows what he/she wants in life and isn’t afraid to go out and get it! Can you honestly say that the thought of a driven and goal-oriented partner doesn’t get you hot and bothered?
3. Stop Talking And Just Listen!
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Take the time to really listen to what your date is saying because you never know what you’ll find out.
Even though going on a first date is seriously scary, especially when you’ve been out of the dating game for a long time, it’ll bring you that much closer to finding love. And that makes it MORE than worth it.
Check out the video above to learn about ‘7 Tips To Nail Your First Date.’
_____
Paul Carrick Brunson
(00:18): We’re all matchmakers. We have that in common. Do you know what else we have in common? We have all been on great first dates. What makes a great first date?
Peggy Lowman
(00:33): How about doing something different? Don’t always feel that you have to go to dinner. That can be the most difficult date.
Paul Carrick Brunson
(00:46): I hate dinners as a first date.
Peggy Lowman
(00:49): It’s hard not to have those conversations. You somehow feel that they’re not smooth. I don’t care if it’s the football game. It doesn’t matter what it is. It’s a lot more fun to do something engaging that you’ve both decided would be fun. I had a client a few weeks ago say, “He’s taking me to the circus. It’s the oddest thing I’ve ever heard but it sounds like so much fun.” I said, “That’s great. Go to the circus. Have fun.”
(1:18): I think the best way to get to connection is if you task yourself every date you go on to find out what excites that person. What are they passionate about? If you walk out of a date knowing that and being willing to share something about yourself, the energy on that date is going to be off the charts. You may not be a match. You may not be a fit, but you are going to have a good time. It will be a whole different energy. It’s not going to be a boring date.
Paul Carrick Brunson
(1:53): You’re saying that you can have a great date and not have a good match?
Marla Martenson
(1:58): Yes. I get the same feedback all the time. Someone will call me and say, “Marla, all the other person did was talk about themselves. They didn’t ask me one question about me. They talked the whole time.” Then the other person will say the same thing about them. They both had the same experience. Listening is very important. You need to ask questions, listen and then share. It has to be a give and take.
You can’t think of it as, “This is a therapy session. This is my time to tell everything about me.” You have to make sure that the other person does feel heard. We all love to talk about ourselves. When someone seems interested in you, they say things like, “Wow, you did that? Tell me more.” You feel a connection with them. You feel excited. Even if it wasn’t that love match, you think, “What a great guy. Maybe he’s good for my friend Suzanne.”
Paul Carrick Brunson
(2:54): You are all mentioning the connection and talking. I hear that. When my boys come back from a first date and they say it was great, they say, “She looked great. I was feeling good.” They talk about the physical. How important is the physical on the first date?
Michelle Jacoby
(3:14): It’s not just about the physical. It’s about knowing how to flirt. What is flirting? Flirting is not always sexual. Flirting is about making the other person feel good when you’re with them. I understand men. I work with men every single day. If a man comes home from a date thinking, “She liked me. I did good. I didn’t mess up. She complimented me. She thought I was awesome,” he wants to feel that again. He wants to spend more time with her.
For me, a first date is about authentically connecting and being yourself, but also confirming what you like in the other person. If you’re sitting on a date and your thinking, “I love how passionate he is in his work about changing the world,” why not just say that? You can say, “Do you know what I love about you? I love how passionate you are about changing the world.” Everyone loves to feel appreciated and seen.
Paul Carrick Brunson
(3:55): There are so many games that we play when it comes to dating. All of you are saying not to play any games. Tell him exactly how you feel.
Marla Martenson
(4:03): For what you said as a man, I get this feedback. This is so funny. No matter what body type a man likes, he might like curvy or stick thin, he wants to see that figure. I’ve had a man call me. I know this girl was a size two. She worked out all the time. She was a dancer. He said, “Marla, she was great. I really liked her. We had a connection. I don’t think I’m going to ask her for a second date.”
I said, “Why?” He said, “She was wearing one of those puffy skirts and I couldn’t tell if she had a big butt.” For him, it wasn’t what he wanted. I said, “I really don’t think she does.” He said, “You know what? I can’t risk it.” He was not willing to take that time out of his life for a second date with someone. He couldn’t risk that he liked her body type.
Yes, I’m in LA, but I hear this kind of thing all the time. Men want to see. Ladies, don’t wear baggy clothes on a date. Yes, it’s more than the looks but put a little makeup on. Wear something a little flirty and be feminine. Guys think, “Yes, I like her body type. I like her personality. I’ll see her again.” If they just like the personality and they don’t like the body or look, they won’t go for a second date.
(5:15): They’re not meeting that threshold.
Paul Carrick Brunson
(5:17): Marla, I hear the same exact thing from my guys in Washington, DC.
_____
What do you think?
7 Tips To Nail Your First Date – what do you think? Share with us in the comments below.
_____
Trying to shake off our nerves that just won’t seem to go away as we get ready for a first date is pretty hard (not to mention SUPER frustrating).
From figuring out what to wear to where we should meet up, jumping right into the dating field sometimes feels way more complicated than it should be.
It doesn’t matter if we’re testing out the waters for the first time or are total pros at the game, we could all use some tips on how to have the perfect date (that’ll hopefully lead to more).
That explains why we were totally ecstatic to hear YourTango Experts – Matchmakers Paul C. Brunson, Peggy Wolman, Jasbina Ahluwalia, Michelle Jacoby, and Marla Martenson talk about ways we can increase our chances of finding a great match and scoring that second date. Despite popular belief, it really isn’t as hard as it may seem. These are just a few highlights that scratch the surface.
1. Do Something Different.
Not only can trying something new together be really fun, it’s a great way to open up a conversation. After all, how many people can say that they’ve done something other than dinner and a movie on the first date?
2. Figure Out What He Or She Is Passionate About.
We guarantee that finding out what your date is really passionate about will help you decide whether or not he/she is the perfect match; after all, there’s nothing sexier than a person who knows what he/she wants in life and isn’t afraid to go out and get it! Can you honestly say that the thought of a driven and goal-oriented partner doesn’t get you hot and bothered?
3. Stop Talking And Just Listen!
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Take the time to really listen to what your date is saying because you never know what you’ll find out.
Even though going on a first date is seriously scary, especially when you’ve been out of the dating game for a long time, it’ll bring you that much closer to finding love. And that makes it MORE than worth it.
Check out the video above to learn about ‘7 Tips To Nail Your First Date.’
_____
Paul Carrick Brunson
(00:18): We’re all matchmakers. We have that in common. Do you know what else we have in common? We have all been on great first dates. What makes a great first date?
Peggy Lowman
(00:33): How about doing something different? Don’t always feel that you have to go to dinner. That can be the most difficult date.
Paul Carrick Brunson
(00:46): I hate dinners as a first date.
Peggy Lowman
(00:49): It’s hard not to have those conversations. You somehow feel that they’re not smooth. I don’t care if it’s the football game. It doesn’t matter what it is. It’s a lot more fun to do something engaging that you’ve both decided would be fun. I had a client a few weeks ago say, “He’s taking me to the circus. It’s the oddest thing I’ve ever heard but it sounds like so much fun.” I said, “That’s great. Go to the circus. Have fun.”
(1:18): I think the best way to get to connection is if you task yourself every date you go on to find out what excites that person. What are they passionate about? If you walk out of a date knowing that and being willing to share something about yourself, the energy on that date is going to be off the charts. You may not be a match. You may not be a fit, but you are going to have a good time. It will be a whole different energy. It’s not going to be a boring date.
Paul Carrick Brunson
(1:53): You’re saying that you can have a great date and not have a good match?
Marla Martenson
(1:58): Yes. I get the same feedback all the time. Someone will call me and say, “Marla, all the other person did was talk about themselves. They didn’t ask me one question about me. They talked the whole time.” Then the other person will say the same thing about them. They both had the same experience. Listening is very important. You need to ask questions, listen and then share. It has to be a give and take.
You can’t think of it as, “This is a therapy session. This is my time to tell everything about me.” You have to make sure that the other person does feel heard. We all love to talk about ourselves. When someone seems interested in you, they say things like, “Wow, you did that? Tell me more.” You feel a connection with them. You feel excited. Even if it wasn’t that love match, you think, “What a great guy. Maybe he’s good for my friend Suzanne.”
Paul Carrick Brunson
(2:54): You are all mentioning the connection and talking. I hear that. When my boys come back from a first date and they say it was great, they say, “She looked great. I was feeling good.” They talk about the physical. How important is the physical on the first date?
Michelle Jacoby
(3:14): It’s not just about the physical. It’s about knowing how to flirt. What is flirting? Flirting is not always sexual. Flirting is about making the other person feel good when you’re with them. I understand men. I work with men every single day. If a man comes home from a date thinking, “She liked me. I did good. I didn’t mess up. She complimented me. She thought I was awesome,” he wants to feel that again. He wants to spend more time with her.
For me, a first date is about authentically connecting and being yourself, but also confirming what you like in the other person. If you’re sitting on a date and your thinking, “I love how passionate he is in his work about changing the world,” why not just say that? You can say, “Do you know what I love about you? I love how passionate you are about changing the world.” Everyone loves to feel appreciated and seen.
Paul Carrick Brunson
(3:55): There are so many games that we play when it comes to dating. All of you are saying not to play any games. Tell him exactly how you feel.
Marla Martenson
(4:03): For what you said as a man, I get this feedback. This is so funny. No matter what body type a man likes, he might like curvy or stick thin, he wants to see that figure. I’ve had a man call me. I know this girl was a size two. She worked out all the time. She was a dancer. He said, “Marla, she was great. I really liked her. We had a connection. I don’t think I’m going to ask her for a second date.”
I said, “Why?” He said, “She was wearing one of those puffy skirts and I couldn’t tell if she had a big butt.” For him, it wasn’t what he wanted. I said, “I really don’t think she does.” He said, “You know what? I can’t risk it.” He was not willing to take that time out of his life for a second date with someone. He couldn’t risk that he liked her body type.
Yes, I’m in LA, but I hear this kind of thing all the time. Men want to see. Ladies, don’t wear baggy clothes on a date. Yes, it’s more than the looks but put a little makeup on. Wear something a little flirty and be feminine. Guys think, “Yes, I like her body type. I like her personality. I’ll see her again.” If they just like the personality and they don’t like the body or look, they won’t go for a second date.
(5:15): They’re not meeting that threshold.
Paul Carrick Brunson
(5:17): Marla, I hear the same exact thing from my guys in Washington, DC.
_____
What do you think?
7 Tips To Nail Your First Date – what do you think? Share with us in the comments below.
_____
